Still trying...sigh...
In actuality I am pretty proud of myself. While I bumped a few times I maintained all that I set out to do. The morning have been easier, the house is lighter, I don't panic as much when someone comes over, I have time and a place to sit and not be a mess. I am almost living a "normal" life.
This has been an amazing effort and for those of you that don't feel that it was or is, you need to live in my head and my world. I can't and won't speak for anyone else. Consider this MY soapbox...
I loathe hearing how depressed everyone thinks I'm not. Unless you are me, don't tell me how to feel, don't tell me I will get over it, don't tell me about people that have it worse, don't tell me all of the wonderful things I have in my life. I went to a doctor and told him how I felt and he (with the medical degree) told me the name of my suffering is depression. You (without the degree) cannot diagnose me or treat me. I put on an excellent public face. No one truly knows but my husband and physician. Just because I smile and laugh doesn't mean that I'm not hiding the pain I am in. The effort it takes me to just breathe. The effort it takes me to get out of bed in the morning and look like a person. The effort it takes me to leave the house and do what I need to do. It is alot. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I know there are those that have it worse and for them I am sorry. Telling me about them will not "fix" me. Telling me about them will not make what I have go away. Telling me about them will essentially do nothing.
I know that I have wonderful things and people in my life. I have two healthy, amazing, funny boys, I have a husband that loves me immensely and does anything to make me smile, I have friends that are my family, I have members of my family that have stayed with me and by my side. I have a roof over my head, I have food in my fridge. I know the amazingness in my life. I don't need it listed for me. My depression is NOT for the incredible blessings I have. My depression is somewhere and something else.
I wish there was a way to describe what it feels like without coming across as lazy and spoiled. There really isn't but I am certainly not lazy. Yes I WAS spoiled. I lived a pretty decent life. I wouldn't call it charmed but it didn't suck horribly. It wasn't sunshine and roses but it was a life. I didn't always handle things the best that I could have but my decisions were what they were. The best way to describe the feeling I have every day is empty. I feel empty, like I have no purpose. I know I do as a wife and mother, but I feel without that I have nothing. When I don't do the things I set out to do I am hard on myself. I give up and nothing gets accomplished. I feel as though I failed. That feeling of failure is so strong it is the voice in my head that keeps me in bed, that voice is the weight on my chest that stops me from accomplishing anything.
I am not sure what writing this will do but I needed to get it off me because of the frustration of hearing what I should feel and what I should be has gotten to be too much. Accept my struggle for what it is and accept that this is my feeling and no one else's. I feel for anyone that has to fight this way with any unseen demon but I can only speak for myself and my story. I guess the bigeest lesson I am trying to teach is don't judge what you don't know and can't see. Your undertstanding and love is what will help me beat this. Your faith in me is what will help me beat this. Your insistence that I am okay will NOT help me get better. Your denial that this exsists will NOT help me get better. Talk to me as you normally would but understand that some days the spark and smile may not exsist. I am not crazy. I am hurting but not crazy.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Still Fluttering...
So it's not going as well as planned...I am still trying to keep up with it all. I had to break down and stay up verrry late to get stuff done which is not good. I am going to hit this in a whole new way this week. I am going into it with a higher "can-do" attitude. I'm not even feel ing up to writing right now but I am working on accountability. Not easy when I am a BORN procrastinator. I didn't get everything done that I set out to do. My truck is still a major disaster, I am backed up on laundry and my office is in desperate need of a sort and fling session. Those are what I am going to work on this week and keeping up with my routines in the morning I should see a marked improvement.
Here's my list of grand TaDa's this week...
I got dressed and made up EVERY day. No excuses. Got up and did it. ~ It is amazing what a little eye shadow can do. I felt better. I felt like I could get it done.
I did NOT sleep in ~ This one was super hard. With depression you are, in fact, tired ALL the blessed time. It is a continuing struggle for me to get the initial push to get out of bed and stay out. I was and probably still will be some days, notorious for taking my sons to schoool, coming home and going back to sleep for another 2 to 3 hours. Once I woke up I felt horrible, like I failed on my day. Normal moms don't do this so I would just give up and do nothing. I would then beat myself up all day long. Its a horrible feeling and one that I am trying very hard to fight. So yea, not sleeping in is a big deal for me.
I made my bed and kept up with the living room daily. ~ I kept myself accountable to these two things. If I got nothing else done I would do these two things so I couldn't beat myself up.
I did a MAJOR crisis cleaning ~ Not fun at all but I did it. Even the little boy's room which was a major disaster. My room, living room, kitchen, bathroom...all of it done and quickly. Not proud of having to do it that way but it's done.
I took some time out for me ~ I walked 3 miles!! I loved it! It was calm and easy! Just got up, dressed and walked.. Even better was NO ONE thought I could do it. I bought some crafty things for myself and made gift tags for little one for his class Valentine's gift, I made candy, I enjoyed my days.
Not a huge list but I am proud of it. Next week I will work on my zones, get my calls dones and meet more of the goals that will turn into habits. I need to do this for myself. Once I do this for me I can help AJ and I will finally feel like I am in control of something in an uncontrollable life. Dare I say even beat this stupid depression...at some point. Not right away but soon...
Here's my list of grand TaDa's this week...
I got dressed and made up EVERY day. No excuses. Got up and did it. ~ It is amazing what a little eye shadow can do. I felt better. I felt like I could get it done.
I did NOT sleep in ~ This one was super hard. With depression you are, in fact, tired ALL the blessed time. It is a continuing struggle for me to get the initial push to get out of bed and stay out. I was and probably still will be some days, notorious for taking my sons to schoool, coming home and going back to sleep for another 2 to 3 hours. Once I woke up I felt horrible, like I failed on my day. Normal moms don't do this so I would just give up and do nothing. I would then beat myself up all day long. Its a horrible feeling and one that I am trying very hard to fight. So yea, not sleeping in is a big deal for me.
I made my bed and kept up with the living room daily. ~ I kept myself accountable to these two things. If I got nothing else done I would do these two things so I couldn't beat myself up.
I did a MAJOR crisis cleaning ~ Not fun at all but I did it. Even the little boy's room which was a major disaster. My room, living room, kitchen, bathroom...all of it done and quickly. Not proud of having to do it that way but it's done.
I took some time out for me ~ I walked 3 miles!! I loved it! It was calm and easy! Just got up, dressed and walked.. Even better was NO ONE thought I could do it. I bought some crafty things for myself and made gift tags for little one for his class Valentine's gift, I made candy, I enjoyed my days.
Not a huge list but I am proud of it. Next week I will work on my zones, get my calls dones and meet more of the goals that will turn into habits. I need to do this for myself. Once I do this for me I can help AJ and I will finally feel like I am in control of something in an uncontrollable life. Dare I say even beat this stupid depression...at some point. Not right away but soon...
Monday, January 9, 2012
Learning to Fly
So in the new year I wrote about my GOALS...not resolutions. I'm still working on them. Slowly but surely working on them. I'm keeping up with my calendar which is an incredible accomplishment for me. Just dealing with that was alot. I would do it and stop, or ignore it, or change it.
I have attempted time and time again to follow the FlyLady program. I am back to square one on this and fluttering and bumping my butt an awful lot but everyday I get up with the best of intentions. I started my Control Journal and calendar and I am working on cleaning up and out. I think my problem is I try to do too much and overhwlem myself. In fact, I know I do. Then I get upset, then I give up, then I try again, and its a never ending cycle. I want to do this and do it right. I want to organize my life so my boy can learn and not struggle. I want to realize that it really does only take me 10 or so minutes to put the dishes away or vacuum or throw in a load of laundry. My linen closet took me all of a solid 30 minutes to do. I need to do this. Once I can control the clutter, I can control anything else.
The 10 minute rule works for me. With ADD it's tough to not get ahead of my head. I set out my "Ta Da" list and spend an hour getting it done. The problem I have is the motivation to get that hour done. Once I get that hour done, I can get the rest done. This week's Zone is the Kitchen. I am going to follow exactly what it says and get it done and clean out and up. I missed today so I am going to go get on that. Today's zone was to "Look Up". I am simply going to get the dust bunnies off the walls and clean off the top of my fridge. That is all. No more, no less.
So far today I woke up, made my bed, dressed to my shoes (make up too), did some needed items (think wedding thank you cards...yea procrastinated), cleaned my linen closet. Before I go to bed I will brush my teeth, get my boys teeth brushed, and get my "Launch Pad" ready for the morning rush of kids, school bags, uniforms and life. I have to do that because if I didn't my kids would be late to school daily. I will also sort the bills and the "Hot Spot" of the wall pockets by the door. When I go to bed tonight the living room will be clean and presentable. My "loving moment" to myself is a hot cup of coffee, my husband and a BCS Championship Football Game (Roll Tide).
I just have to remember the things that matter and why this is necessary. I don't want perfect, I just want normal.
I have attempted time and time again to follow the FlyLady program. I am back to square one on this and fluttering and bumping my butt an awful lot but everyday I get up with the best of intentions. I started my Control Journal and calendar and I am working on cleaning up and out. I think my problem is I try to do too much and overhwlem myself. In fact, I know I do. Then I get upset, then I give up, then I try again, and its a never ending cycle. I want to do this and do it right. I want to organize my life so my boy can learn and not struggle. I want to realize that it really does only take me 10 or so minutes to put the dishes away or vacuum or throw in a load of laundry. My linen closet took me all of a solid 30 minutes to do. I need to do this. Once I can control the clutter, I can control anything else.
The 10 minute rule works for me. With ADD it's tough to not get ahead of my head. I set out my "Ta Da" list and spend an hour getting it done. The problem I have is the motivation to get that hour done. Once I get that hour done, I can get the rest done. This week's Zone is the Kitchen. I am going to follow exactly what it says and get it done and clean out and up. I missed today so I am going to go get on that. Today's zone was to "Look Up". I am simply going to get the dust bunnies off the walls and clean off the top of my fridge. That is all. No more, no less.
So far today I woke up, made my bed, dressed to my shoes (make up too), did some needed items (think wedding thank you cards...yea procrastinated), cleaned my linen closet. Before I go to bed I will brush my teeth, get my boys teeth brushed, and get my "Launch Pad" ready for the morning rush of kids, school bags, uniforms and life. I have to do that because if I didn't my kids would be late to school daily. I will also sort the bills and the "Hot Spot" of the wall pockets by the door. When I go to bed tonight the living room will be clean and presentable. My "loving moment" to myself is a hot cup of coffee, my husband and a BCS Championship Football Game (Roll Tide).
I just have to remember the things that matter and why this is necessary. I don't want perfect, I just want normal.
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Monday, January 2, 2012
Happy New Year...Really...I mean it
Well after my year of life changing incidents of 2011 I'm ready to move up and on...
Granted it's only January 2nd and EVERYONE is still positively thinking but I am pretty determined but don't we all start out that way??
Here's my goal and promise...I am going to give it all I have. That's all I can promise and do. I am going to take it week to week and not give up when I fail. Just start all over. I am going to use the tools and resources I have and FOLLOW THROUGH. I have to. I cannot live like this anymore. Not for just me. I must do this for my child. I NEED to do this for my child and there is no greater love than from a mother to her son. I cannot let him see the pattern of failure. He has to know that he and I can fight those nasty little letters, ADD, together.
I am going to have setbacks and some days just give up but I can't. I have to push through. I have to have faith that it will get better for me and for him. I have to grow up more and not worry about what everyone else wants or needs. I have to live for those two little boys and for me.
I have found in the last week that my health and wellbeing now depend on letting go and moving on. I need to do that. I need to get rid of as much of the poison as I can. I will never be what she wants me to be and I don't want to be that. I just want to be happy. To have the happiness that has eluded her for her entire life. I want to take this year and do for me. Get myself organized, get my finances fixed to the best of my ability, find the work I want to do, and learn how to manage my house. I have to learn to accept help and let go of the crap that's weighing me down. I need to be a better wife and mom. I need to not let this depression own me. I need to find my spirit again. Be done apologizing and find my spirit. That may be the hardest part but I am determined as much as anyone else is on January 2nd.
This New Year's I want to have goals, not resolutions that will be broken, but goals that I will take the time to work on and fulfill. I need to work on me this year. Adjust to my new life and being. I can no longer live in the past of what I once was. I am no longer sorry for the turn my life has taken. I am sorry for how it happened but not for how it ended up. Now I need to manage the damage and and get rid of what I can't help.
These are the promises I am making to myself and I need your help, as my friends, to help me. This is another goal...ask for help when I need it and I need help.
A blessed and Happy New Year to all of you...
Granted it's only January 2nd and EVERYONE is still positively thinking but I am pretty determined but don't we all start out that way??
Here's my goal and promise...I am going to give it all I have. That's all I can promise and do. I am going to take it week to week and not give up when I fail. Just start all over. I am going to use the tools and resources I have and FOLLOW THROUGH. I have to. I cannot live like this anymore. Not for just me. I must do this for my child. I NEED to do this for my child and there is no greater love than from a mother to her son. I cannot let him see the pattern of failure. He has to know that he and I can fight those nasty little letters, ADD, together.
I am going to have setbacks and some days just give up but I can't. I have to push through. I have to have faith that it will get better for me and for him. I have to grow up more and not worry about what everyone else wants or needs. I have to live for those two little boys and for me.
I have found in the last week that my health and wellbeing now depend on letting go and moving on. I need to do that. I need to get rid of as much of the poison as I can. I will never be what she wants me to be and I don't want to be that. I just want to be happy. To have the happiness that has eluded her for her entire life. I want to take this year and do for me. Get myself organized, get my finances fixed to the best of my ability, find the work I want to do, and learn how to manage my house. I have to learn to accept help and let go of the crap that's weighing me down. I need to be a better wife and mom. I need to not let this depression own me. I need to find my spirit again. Be done apologizing and find my spirit. That may be the hardest part but I am determined as much as anyone else is on January 2nd.
This New Year's I want to have goals, not resolutions that will be broken, but goals that I will take the time to work on and fulfill. I need to work on me this year. Adjust to my new life and being. I can no longer live in the past of what I once was. I am no longer sorry for the turn my life has taken. I am sorry for how it happened but not for how it ended up. Now I need to manage the damage and and get rid of what I can't help.
These are the promises I am making to myself and I need your help, as my friends, to help me. This is another goal...ask for help when I need it and I need help.
A blessed and Happy New Year to all of you...
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Its beginning to look alot like...ugh
Again with the unintentional hiatus...
So here we are at November 1st. Halloween came and went with a snowstorm of all things. (Continued prayers for strength for those affected the most severely...)
November...The birth month of 2 of my favorite people. One is a gorgeous young lady who will be 24 and knows what I'm thinking before I do and manages to run her house, have a life and marriage and ride with me on crazy off the wall ideas that only she gets and somehow finds time to help me manage my life..the other is my teeny tiny boy who will be a whole 6 this month but will always be my baby who makes me laugh every silly day...
It is also the high mommy pressure start of the holiday season. Yes the time of year where my new husband will file for a holiday separation or understand why I'm nuts. The time of year that baking gets factored in to grocery lists, volunteering is at an all time high, snowmen overrun my home (much like the zombie apocalypse), charity work comes to a head and my appearances at school functions becomes a daily occurrence. Honestly, its one of my many favorite times to be a mom.
I love that my sons get excited about every day. I love that they see how to help others and can help parlay that into everyday life. I love the stars in their eyes and the general glow they lend to my home during the season. I love that people say hi and Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. I love that no matter how old anyone is they do believe in the magic of lights and snow and trees.
Maybe I'm naive in my thinking but I do believe that every child deserves Christmas. Every child deserves to find something under the tree. Every child should get to have the magic and happiness even if its only for a day. So now that it's November 1st go out and find an angel tree when they are up or get involved in a roup that's helping give Christmas to those who need it most. I know a chick who's got an awesome project who could use a hand. (wink wink)
So here we are at November 1st. Halloween came and went with a snowstorm of all things. (Continued prayers for strength for those affected the most severely...)
November...The birth month of 2 of my favorite people. One is a gorgeous young lady who will be 24 and knows what I'm thinking before I do and manages to run her house, have a life and marriage and ride with me on crazy off the wall ideas that only she gets and somehow finds time to help me manage my life..the other is my teeny tiny boy who will be a whole 6 this month but will always be my baby who makes me laugh every silly day...
It is also the high mommy pressure start of the holiday season. Yes the time of year where my new husband will file for a holiday separation or understand why I'm nuts. The time of year that baking gets factored in to grocery lists, volunteering is at an all time high, snowmen overrun my home (much like the zombie apocalypse), charity work comes to a head and my appearances at school functions becomes a daily occurrence. Honestly, its one of my many favorite times to be a mom.
I love that my sons get excited about every day. I love that they see how to help others and can help parlay that into everyday life. I love the stars in their eyes and the general glow they lend to my home during the season. I love that people say hi and Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. I love that no matter how old anyone is they do believe in the magic of lights and snow and trees.
Maybe I'm naive in my thinking but I do believe that every child deserves Christmas. Every child deserves to find something under the tree. Every child should get to have the magic and happiness even if its only for a day. So now that it's November 1st go out and find an angel tree when they are up or get involved in a roup that's helping give Christmas to those who need it most. I know a chick who's got an awesome project who could use a hand. (wink wink)
Friday, September 9, 2011
United American
9/11/2001 was a sunny, beautiful day. The temperature was perfect. It was a Tuesday. 287 was the bastard road it generally is. Everyone has a story, everyone has a hell to tell on that day 10 long years ago. I was 23. HRH#2 wasn't a wish, HRH#1 was a blond brown eyed baby. I still had a father. I was a newlywed. I was heavier. I was driving my little gold chevy cavalier. I was an administrator for a book company. I was an EMT's wife. I was a fire fighter's ex (yea before it was cool). I was friends alot of emergency service people. At 8:46 I, like the rest of the country, realized at that moment that I and we were also Americans. A privilege that was taken for granted until that day.
That is one of the defining moments of history in the country and the world. Everyone who had breath in their bodies knew where they were at that moment when the greatest city on earth was tagged for destruction. When the two pillars that represented the iconic skyline of a city that was a celebrated melting pot was attacked by a group of people who turned our own planes against us. No secret it was a United plane and American Airlines. United American. Take that terrorists. United American. The steam roll of hell came through the Northeast like a freight train. Washington DC, NYC, and the heroic every day people of Flight 93 in Pennsylvania. Ordinary people that were going to take their and our plane back or die trying...and they did.
We all saw the images on the television. We all wanted it to just stop. We all in some way screamed like our words would get through. We all watched over and over as the towers fell. Everytime they fell a part of us and the quilt of society died some. We all read of the heroics of the firemen that kept going up and up while everyone else went down. We all read of the jumpers, the phone calls, the heroics of everyday people whose only fault was going to work on that fateful day. Going to work so their daughter can be in dance class or their son can play fall baseball, to pay the mortgage or the car or the vacation. We've all heard the stories of the near misses and should've been there's. These stories are the fabric of the day. They are what make up the colors and feelings of that horrible day when we all realized We are American.
I am blessed and thankful that I did not lose anyone on that fateful day. I watched my ex-husband leave, I watched my now fiance leave and I watched countless friends leave. Leave to do their job and their calling. I sat on the banks of the Hudson at the Liberty Park and stared into the pit of hell. I cried I yelled knowing they couldn't hear me. Knowing he couldn't hear me. I willed my friends, the father of my child and my love to come home. I cried. We all cried. We all collected supplies, gave blood, sat in a group and said no words. We prayed whether we believed in God, Allah (yea I said it...read the Koran and you will see what a peace loving sentinel the book is) or believed in nothing, we still prayed. We prayed to survive. We prayed for the will to go on as a broken community and country. We prayed for the broken families and lives. We prayed. We hugged our babies and loved on our families.
The man I married and the man I am about to marry do not discuss what they saw that day. That is the cross they bear. I can't tell their story and I don't want to. I can only tell mine. I can see the sadness in the blue eyes I love every time those towers fall. I can see when he has to walk away to not visualize what they show every year but the problem is that movie runs in his mind with every mention. I want to know. I want to see what he saw but I will never ask. I know what I saw while sitting on the banks of the river on a chilly night in early September.
God bless the souls of those who went to work and didn't come home & the passengers on those ill fated flights. Don't let them be forgotten for being the heroes of their families and a representation of the American Dream. Somewhere out there is a family that's missing Mom, Dad, Uncle, Aunt, Brother, Sister, Husband or Wife. Pray for the moms and dads whose children were lost. They were and are someone's baby.
God Bless those families of the lost that were left behind. Know the country mourns with you not just on 9/11 but every day. These words and thoughts won't take away the pain and I know that but know that you're thought of. Thank you for the sacrifice you didn't mean to make.
God bless the hailed heroes of FDNY, PAPD, NYPD and all of those that went over that day. No matter where life took them afterwards. Brothers and Sisters in Emergency Services past and present will never forget that you were just "doing your job."
God Bless the lost 343/37/23...You are why life goes on for so many. To all of you a Thank You from a humble former EMT Jersey Girl.
To the terrorists...It didn't work. You may have gotten our towers and some of our souls but you also have a fight on your hands like nobody's business. Remember those planes? Yea...United American...We don't forget and will never forget. Through your callous, cowardly and atrocious act you brought us a unified existence where our country helped neighbors, mourned for the lost and strengthened our temper together and you are and will always be our target. We got your guy...Let's call him shark bait...You couldn't even face us yourselves. You used our planes. The best message we have for you is that our life has gone on and we may be bruised and battered but you didn't win. I am not afraid to go to my New York City and you will NEVER make it that way for me. In fact, I will be there tomorrow. The only reason I don't like flying is the take off and landing but you guys don't scare me. This is the greatest nation in the world and your acts of 10 years ago didn't change that. Oh and by the way, you just got told off by an American girl...oh and one more thing We are One Nation Under God and may God Bless America...
http://www.themomblogs.com/
That is one of the defining moments of history in the country and the world. Everyone who had breath in their bodies knew where they were at that moment when the greatest city on earth was tagged for destruction. When the two pillars that represented the iconic skyline of a city that was a celebrated melting pot was attacked by a group of people who turned our own planes against us. No secret it was a United plane and American Airlines. United American. Take that terrorists. United American. The steam roll of hell came through the Northeast like a freight train. Washington DC, NYC, and the heroic every day people of Flight 93 in Pennsylvania. Ordinary people that were going to take their and our plane back or die trying...and they did.
We all saw the images on the television. We all wanted it to just stop. We all in some way screamed like our words would get through. We all watched over and over as the towers fell. Everytime they fell a part of us and the quilt of society died some. We all read of the heroics of the firemen that kept going up and up while everyone else went down. We all read of the jumpers, the phone calls, the heroics of everyday people whose only fault was going to work on that fateful day. Going to work so their daughter can be in dance class or their son can play fall baseball, to pay the mortgage or the car or the vacation. We've all heard the stories of the near misses and should've been there's. These stories are the fabric of the day. They are what make up the colors and feelings of that horrible day when we all realized We are American.
I am blessed and thankful that I did not lose anyone on that fateful day. I watched my ex-husband leave, I watched my now fiance leave and I watched countless friends leave. Leave to do their job and their calling. I sat on the banks of the Hudson at the Liberty Park and stared into the pit of hell. I cried I yelled knowing they couldn't hear me. Knowing he couldn't hear me. I willed my friends, the father of my child and my love to come home. I cried. We all cried. We all collected supplies, gave blood, sat in a group and said no words. We prayed whether we believed in God, Allah (yea I said it...read the Koran and you will see what a peace loving sentinel the book is) or believed in nothing, we still prayed. We prayed to survive. We prayed for the will to go on as a broken community and country. We prayed for the broken families and lives. We prayed. We hugged our babies and loved on our families.
The man I married and the man I am about to marry do not discuss what they saw that day. That is the cross they bear. I can't tell their story and I don't want to. I can only tell mine. I can see the sadness in the blue eyes I love every time those towers fall. I can see when he has to walk away to not visualize what they show every year but the problem is that movie runs in his mind with every mention. I want to know. I want to see what he saw but I will never ask. I know what I saw while sitting on the banks of the river on a chilly night in early September.
God bless the souls of those who went to work and didn't come home & the passengers on those ill fated flights. Don't let them be forgotten for being the heroes of their families and a representation of the American Dream. Somewhere out there is a family that's missing Mom, Dad, Uncle, Aunt, Brother, Sister, Husband or Wife. Pray for the moms and dads whose children were lost. They were and are someone's baby.
God Bless those families of the lost that were left behind. Know the country mourns with you not just on 9/11 but every day. These words and thoughts won't take away the pain and I know that but know that you're thought of. Thank you for the sacrifice you didn't mean to make.
God bless the hailed heroes of FDNY, PAPD, NYPD and all of those that went over that day. No matter where life took them afterwards. Brothers and Sisters in Emergency Services past and present will never forget that you were just "doing your job."
God Bless the lost 343/37/23...You are why life goes on for so many. To all of you a Thank You from a humble former EMT Jersey Girl.
To the terrorists...It didn't work. You may have gotten our towers and some of our souls but you also have a fight on your hands like nobody's business. Remember those planes? Yea...United American...We don't forget and will never forget. Through your callous, cowardly and atrocious act you brought us a unified existence where our country helped neighbors, mourned for the lost and strengthened our temper together and you are and will always be our target. We got your guy...Let's call him shark bait...You couldn't even face us yourselves. You used our planes. The best message we have for you is that our life has gone on and we may be bruised and battered but you didn't win. I am not afraid to go to my New York City and you will NEVER make it that way for me. In fact, I will be there tomorrow. The only reason I don't like flying is the take off and landing but you guys don't scare me. This is the greatest nation in the world and your acts of 10 years ago didn't change that. Oh and by the way, you just got told off by an American girl...oh and one more thing We are One Nation Under God and may God Bless America...
http://www.themomblogs.com/
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