Still Fluttering...

So it's not going as well as planned...I am still trying to keep up with it all. I had to break down and stay up verrry late to get stuff done which is not good. I am going to hit this in a whole new way this week. I am going into it with a higher "can-do" attitude. I'm not even feel ing up to writing right now but I am working on accountability. Not easy when I am a BORN procrastinator. I didn't get everything done that I set out to do. My truck is still a major disaster, I am backed up on laundry and my office is in desperate need of a sort and fling session. Those are what I am going to work on this week and keeping up with my routines in the morning I should see a marked improvement.

Here's my list of grand TaDa's this week...

I got dressed and made up EVERY day. No excuses. Got up and did it. ~ It is amazing what a little eye shadow can do. I felt better. I felt like I could get it done.

I did NOT sleep in ~ This one was super hard. With depression you are, in fact, tired ALL the blessed time. It is a continuing struggle for me to get the initial push to get out of bed and stay out. I was and probably still will be some days, notorious for taking my sons to schoool, coming home and going back to sleep for another 2 to 3 hours. Once I woke up I felt horrible, like I failed on my day. Normal moms don't do this so I would just give up and do nothing. I would then beat myself up all day long. Its a horrible feeling and one that I am trying very hard to fight. So yea, not sleeping in is a big deal for me.

I made my bed and kept up with the living room daily. ~ I kept myself accountable to these two things. If I got nothing else done I would do these two things so I couldn't beat myself up.

I did a MAJOR crisis cleaning ~ Not fun at all but I did it. Even the little boy's room which was a major disaster. My room, living room, kitchen, bathroom...all of it done and quickly. Not proud of having to do it that way but it's done.

I took some time out for me ~ I walked 3 miles!! I loved it! It was calm and easy! Just got up, dressed and walked.. Even better was NO ONE thought I could do it. I bought some crafty things for myself and made gift tags for little one for his class Valentine's gift, I made candy, I enjoyed my days.

Not a huge list but I am proud of it. Next week I will work on my zones, get my calls dones and meet more of the goals that will turn into habits. I need to do this for myself. Once I do this for me I can help AJ and I will finally feel like I am in control of something in an uncontrollable life. Dare I say even beat this stupid depression...at some point. Not right away but soon...